My name is Click Dark. To you I seem familiar. You may think you know me and miss me but you don’t. Yes, I'm dead and gone, but most of the world did not have a chance to see me or laugh at my jokes. I was called, The Comedian Who Could Not be Heard.
It's not really my fault that no one could hear me. How was I to know where the “on” switch was to the microphone? With no mechanical aptitude, pride kept me from asking for help. So I pretended it was part of my act. My words became too profound, too funny to be heard much less understood. That was the facade.
Every time I stepped on stage I was struggling for attention while groping for the “on” switch. To the audience it looked like I was doing this on purpose. Some people would laugh, others stared. I thought of myself as another Andy Kaufman – strange and misunderstood.
I would have dazzled you! I had wit and song and humor – but, alas. I left body suddenly when by accident I managed to muster the mic “on.” I still don’t know how I did it. I was promptly electrocuted by faulty wiring. The joke was on me. My career was only just getting started. A few people remembered me when it happened. They read about it in the morning paper and shouted, “Hey remember that guy at the comedy club that never talked? He’s dead!”
For those who never witnessed my act, here’s the reason you think you have heard of me. Indeed you have, but only in barely audible whispers. I wanted my death to mean something so I told myself I was leaving body in the name of comedy. It became my self-appointed duty to watch over all comedians (and people who think they are funny). I give away ideas and punch lines to those who listen. There is a catch - you have to be aware enough to hear me or at least imagine you are hearing something. Remember that little voice your mother told you about? Well it turns out there’s a few voices available. One of the little inner voices will make you laugh. That is me! See, you really have heard of me (that is, heard me).
I am the omniscient jester. If you are funny, more often than not you can thank me. Listening to conversations all over the world (and just about every language), I interject wit or a funny observation. I have to admit it was pretty nifty when I passed away and suddenly knew all languages. Evidently we humans can do that.
What I give most often to searching comics is something off color and obscene. If you want humorous and imaginative you have to listen much closer. A better joke is the reward for being more attentive. It is my job to perk up the cadence and tighten the delivery. When you hear me, go with it - see how funny you can be. In the process you will lift up all of humanity. I’m not bragging too much. After all, a good laugh makes everyone feel better.
Think of me when delivering that “knee slapper!” I'm your muse and I'm not getting paid for all these great jokes I bestow upon you. I don't even expect a by-line. Just get the punch line right. Is that too much to ask?
It’s all in the name of being funny. I'm the “funner” (the joke giver) and you are the “funnee” (the joke receiver). So don't get cute and rearrange the story or shorten the punch line. I know best, you're just the recipient of heavenly humor.
I’m the humor source funneling ha-ha’s all over the world. If the Blessed Virgin brings peace then I bestow the belly laugh. If the world is filled with humor violent people might be rendered helpless with squirming laughter. We might forget how to shoot at each other. Imagine!
