Delusions of a Fledgling Filmmaker

Anticipation and hope are filling up the movie theatre.  Filmmakers are milling around wondering how well their projects will stand up to all the others.  Everyone wants an award; best picture, the audience choice, the critic’s choice.  Egos are plump and minds are loaded with delusions of as yet unfulfilled potential.  It must be film festival time.

Actors, ancestors of filmmakers, teachers of filmmakers and celebrities are piling in now.  Even you-know-who is here to introduce classic movies, just like he does on AMC.  The film producer with all the credentials and fame is present and waiting for his Lifetime Achievement Award.   Projectors flicker to life in the screening rooms.  Lights dim and the bright lights of movies and dreams fill the air.

This is a contest.  A barometer of how well people like what you do.  It’s a situation that tests tender egos and lavishes praise on souls born under a helpful star.  Amazingly, I am here with my little film.  I’m hobnobbing with successful producers and filmmakers.  I plan to put my face in front of as many people who will allow me to invade their space.  I’m up and coming and I want them to notice me.

Confidence is everything.  I have a thought; what if my film wins an award.  How will I ever handle all the success?  I could morph from a starving want-to-be into an arrogant newbie who just won his first award at a film festival.  That might get ugly.  I’ll have to work on being cordial and unaffected by my towering ability.

What will I say to people at the Q and A after my film is shown?  This is a good time to flash my personality.  If I’m charming maybe no one will notice how new I really am.  I can say things like . . . 

       “We had fun and tons of good ideas.  That’s what

        makes a good movie.”

or . . . 

     "Making movies is a collaborative art.  You have

        to be a team player."

I’ve been accused of behaving in a self important manner.  So I will smile and answer the questions with grace and humor.  Dazzle them with my personality is what I will do.

What if I find distribution for my movie?  Is it possible that people would really find my work entertaining?  I could be stepping into an amazing lifestyle.  Could this be the beginning of my career? 

It’s always been easy walking into restaurants.  Nobody knows who I am or what I do.  If my film generates a lot of interest I might become well known.  I might have trouble shopping at the food market.  There might be fans out there who want me to autograph their banana in the produce section.  Will the world change that dramatically or will I?

Fellow students at film school will treat me like an established guard in show business?  Oh well, what they do is none of my business, as long as they pay to see my latest movie.  I guess I can help them with advice.  I’m sure the school will invite me to speak when I become a notable movie mogul.

It’s about time, my movie is about to be shown.  I’ll sneak in at the last minute.  If I sit in the back I can see the show and listen for the reaction of the audience in front of me.  I’m so excited!

Last night I dreamed I was arriving at the festival parking lot.  Somehow I fell out of the car.  Wait a minute!  I was dreaming I was a cop chasing a bad guy into a movie house that was playing my movie.  After locking the breaks and sliding to a halt, I opened the car door a little too soon.  I felt the momentum of the car forcing me off the seat and out of the car door.  I was on my butt, sliding on gravel and cement.  Luckily the multitude of fans queued up to see my movie stopped my forward motion when I crashed into them.  It’s amazing what fans will do for you in a dream.

An Argument for Abduction

Abductions are mysterious.  The absence of those taken is terrifying and overwhelming.  Initial explanations lack sound information.  Often the real reason is bizarre and unacceptable. 

Stealing a person away from a life filled with friends and expectations is a desperate act, but is it always destructive?  Can such a shift in place and consciousness always be an evil assault?  One’s intention to grow and contribute to the big picture of human evolution might be accelerated by provocative acts that pull us away from what we know is real?  The broad vistas of who is and what is are sometimes obscured by each day’s allotment of living.

The news is filled with longing for loved ones departed.  Are they murdered?  Have they run away?  Is a person’s perplexing exit always the product of some ulterior interference?  Can it be less than sinister when someone vanishes?

Let’s consider the possibility that when a person disappears an outside force has absconded with them.

The History Channel is loaded with documentaries about people no longer habiting their normal lives.  So many talking heads are convinced those gone have encountered space aliens.  Does this mean that all abductees are stripped of clothing, tested and probed?  Do you have to come from Alpha Centauri to qualify as a proper abductor of beautiful blondes and dumb farmers from Alabama?

Perhaps our abductors are closer to home and much less exotic.  But, there is an important question.  At this point in history is it possible for cultures to coexist on Earth and not know of each other?  There are Amazonian tribes that live unaware of the perks and privileges of “civilization.”  Can there be people, fellow humans, much more advanced than we on this planet now?  Where are they and why don’t we see them.  Maybe Bigfoot is much more intelligent than we give him credit.  Are there souls out there that consider our “civilization” to be backward and bellow their abilities?  Wait a minute!  We’ve been to the moon.  We may be ignorant, but when blind greed and lust for power are taken out of the equation we can be fairly intelligent.

Certainly there are odd things happening on this planet that are hard to interpret.  There are millions of flying vehicles in the sky and some of them look weird.  However, “weird” seems to fly as well as “conventional.”  Are those who fly weird aircrafts fellow citizens of planet earth?  Could there be an exalted world yet to be discovered by we who exploit the internet and broadcast the news?  What about smart phones.  Why can’t our mysterious fellow inhabitants just give us a call? 

If we are not at the top of the totem pole then who is and where are they?  We have satellites roaming near space that photograph every inch of the earth.  How could such advanced people hide so easily from us?  Granted much of the Earth’s surface is covered by water.  Do these guys hold their breath indefinitely?  Maybe the Titanic was not sunk by an iceberg but abducted to the briny depths by God knows who.  The boat might have stumbled upon an icy entrance to the lair of these unknown people.  The Titanic’s long missing passengers could be having tea and crumpets, enjoying life with unfathomable folks who have learned to live way beyond above ground human years.  Abductors and abductees are possibly getting along just fine.  It could be that every ship that has sunk in bad weather or torpedoed in war have instead found their way to an underwater destination that provides 3 squares and plenty of O2.

If they are really here and hiding from us how could they stand by for so long and allow us to destroy the environment?  We’re stressing their home too.

Are these elder brothers so advanced that they are impervious to our shenanigans?  Hell, we blow up sophisticated weapons that fowls the air and who knows what all.  We build nuclear reactors in earth quake zones without really considering the dangers.  Alright, maybe we’re not so smart. 

How stupid can we be?  The possibilities are staggering.  Perhaps big brother is waiting for us to take a good look at ourselves.  It’s time to contemplate the places out there beyond our reach.  The wilderness may not be so savage if it is populated with folks owning better credentials than we.

Perhaps it is better to not venture out into unknown parts.  If we don’t know what they look like we could step into a trap like a moth into a spider’s web. 

These mysterious neighbors of ours might not be carbon based.  If they are very different than we, they may not need oxygen or nitrogen or carbon dioxide.  Perhaps we see them everyday and fail to recognize a superior intellect.

Consider an intelligence permeating the dust that collects in the corners of our culture?  Is it possible to step over something in our daily lives that is so superior to humans?  That place where the bubble gum is fast stuck to the bottom of a table might well be a bastion for these superior folks.  They live where we find living repugnant.  Perhaps each grain of dirt beneath our feet is intelligence so exquisite that we haven’t a clue.  Is their hunger for knowledge so strong that they take such ignorant abuse doled out by you and me? 

They monitor and keep vigilance.  Is it curiosity that motivates them?  Is it so important to expand their knowledge they do anything to glean the last bit of information.  To know a little more could be the ultimate quest.  

The universe from the vantage point of this little peeble in space we cling to is a vast recepticle of the unknown.  We may be on the edge of the Milky Way but the hunger to understand may be the most important ingredient of the recipe that makes us human.  This may be the commonality we share with our abductors.

If at some point you lose yourself and can't find a way back to what you were.  Relax, you were probably abducted by some idea or person or intity.  To them it was obvious you were bored and needed a nudge to get back into that fertile curiousity that makes us want to know.