When a phase of my life ends and a new one begins where does the old me go? When what I am dissolves into something else, what happens? Will I learn some other logic with a broader understanding - a brighter awakening? I hope so.
My old ways are dissipating. The new me is increasing with a new vitality. There is no need to concentrate on this. It seems to be an inevitable organic cycle. I wish there was a way to measure the shift in consciousness? How can I compare what was me and what is to be me? What I am becoming is mysterious and unknowable right now.
What happened to the old me? Did I die? I don’t remember a coffin or an obituary. Don’t recall grieving relatives; not even flower petals. Admittedly, some friends are bewildered. So this must be a transition with little change physically, or am I too unaware to notice that I have passed away? Am I hovering over the lifeless body I once inhabited but not yet ready to face the end?
Perhaps I am about to shed the shell – like a cicada on a window screen. I’m going to wriggle out of the old skin and let the bigger me dry in the sun. Finite space will become something else as the new me expands at least a little.
Does all this movement require a change of address? Should I pack? Might it be more important to stow pertinent memories for a point of reference? Memories can be a guidepost that keep me steady in the dark. It is possible that I move to New York or Tibet to become a rock star or a monk. I will probably move from the kitchen to the couch.
Maybe living is like a tray of ice cubes. We fill one ice cube space with who we are in this life and then move to the next. A subsequent life comes and we fill an adjacent ice cube space then another one, etc. Each cube has a different understanding and different lessons. No cube is aware of any of the other cubes in the tray. What happens when the entire ice tray is filled with my little cubes of consciousness? Who maintains and operates the freezer that keeps my cubes cold and solid?
Perhaps the step after filling the ice tray is to allow the ice to melt and spill on the floor. All that knowledge and all the different awarenesses come together into a sloppy puddle. For sure my dog will be there to slurp up the wetness. He's very fond of water. That would be a fitting end to my lessons; in the belly of a canine. Eventually I will get peed out on a curb somewhere. Yeah that's what we become - a smelly part of a walkway system somewhere along a road.
The adventure continues.
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