The Solar Eclipse

There is a partial eclipse of the sun today starting at 7:53 UTC.  Anyone on a boat in the Indian Ocean just above Antarctica will be able to see it.  That's the trouble with eclipses; they are always where I am not.  I've seen a partial (very partial) eclipse a few times but never anything near a total eclipse.  The irony is there are two total eclipses every year.  I must have total eclipse karma.  Not good karma or maybe I'm just not trying.

Spiritually speaking, people involved in the occult believe it is not important to be directly in the shadow of the eclipse to experience its energy.  Anyone on the planet can feel the shift in the earth's force.  That may be, but I still feel like the sun has been throwing knuckle balls at me.  In American baseball the pitcher throws a knuckle ball by gripping it with the tips of his fingers.  Tossed in this manner the ball has very little spin which creates unpredictable movement.  No one; the pitcher, the catcher and especially the batter have a clue where in the strike zone the ball will end up (if at all).  I think the sun is a knuckle ball pitcher.  The sun has two total eclipses a year with numerous partial eclipses thrown randomly to hit wherever they please.  For sure it is always where I am not – at least that’s the way it feels.  I know; it has to do with the movement of the sun, the moon and the earth in their orbits.  It’s all very predictable for some people.

An eclipse occurs when the new moon moves between the sun and the earth. At some point on the earth the moon casts a shadow and the sun disappears – voila, an eclipse.  Day becomes night.  Birds fly in circles, lost without the fiery orb.

The Romans, especially their emperors, were afraid of solar eclipses.  Perhaps they had good reason.  Julius Caesar was murdered after a solar eclipse.  Caesar Augustus also died after a solar eclipse. 

Warring armies (the Medians and Lydians) near the Halys River in Turkey (585 BC) laid down their weapons and made peace when a solar eclipse occurred during battle.  The lesson here is the world needs an eclipse machine.  What a great secret weapon.  Wherever unrest occurs, break out the “eclipser” and end the war.  Developing such a machine would certainly put someone in line for the Nobel Peace Prize.  In fact I'm researching a patent on such a device.  It could be as simple as putting a huge umbrella over the entire battlefield with a large tag identifying it as an eclipse.  Warriors can be gullible.

When the moon is eclipsing the sun beware of the Allais effect.  Eclipses may disturb the gravity around the motion of a pendulum.  The theory behind the effect was developed by Maurice Allais who was a French polymath.  So watch out for your grandfather clock during the next eclipse.  It might experience an "anomalous gravitational effect," causing the pendulum to crash through the back of the clock and into a moody, profane dimension.  It can only be overcome by injecting massive amounts of lithium into Maurice Allais combined with a mild convulsive therapy.  Lobotomies have been ruled out because pendulums don't have brains.

The eclipse must be getting close.  I'm feeling frustrated and left out.  Not again!?  My watch is set to UTC time.  It reads 07:53 UTC.  The eclipse must be starting.  I'm looking up at the sun and it is intact.  There is no dark semicircle encroaching slowly over the solar disk.  Maybe it's my genius always to know intuitively where the eclipse is not.  Yes, I must be very smart.

My luck might change when August 21, 2017 comes around.  A total eclipse is going to take place smack dab in the middle of the U.S. Heartland. Southern Illinois and Missouri will see it for sure.  I have plans to be there.